He looked at her and says angrily, Fix the light now? Does it look like I have “POWERGEN”? I don’t think so!

Fine! Then wife asks, well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won’t close right.

To which he replied, Does it look like I have “FRIDGID AIRE” written on my forehead? I don’t think so!

Fine! She says. Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break.

I am not a carpenter and I don’t want to fix steps. He says, does it look like I have “TAYLOR WOODROW” on my forehead? I don’t think so! I’ve had enough of this; I am going to the pub!!!

So he goes to the pub and drinks for couple of hours… He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home. As he walks into house he notices that the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

Honey, he asks, how would all this get fixed? She said, well when you left I sat outside and cried, just then a nice young man asked me what was wring and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.

Husband said, what kind of cake did you bake? She replied, hello… do you see “MR. KIPLING” written on my forehead. I don’t think so!

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Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance – particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

———

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: “http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm” and try to download Tears 6.2, and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash! Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

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