Imran Khan – imrank.org

I received this from one of my friends and could not resist myself to share this with you guys.

A Wife is a Wife,
no matter who
THE HELL
you are!!

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1. If you can’t describe what you are doing as a process, you don’t know what you’re doing.
   W. Edwards Deming
   
2. Success is getting what you want, and happiness is wanting what you get.
   Dave Gardner
   
3. When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
   Thomas Szasz
   
4. Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching.
   Unknown Author
   
5. If you want work well done, select a busy man; the other kind has no time. 
   Elbert Hubbard
   
6. It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
   Walt Disney
   
7. Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. 
   John Wilmot
   
8. Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
   Clifford Stoll
   
9. It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
   Ralph Waldo Emerson
   
10. Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. 
    Dick Van Dyke

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Husband went to Dubai & sent an SMS to wife:

“Having a wonderful time, wish u were HER…!”

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The most-wanted mobile phones in the world are all currently in one place – Barcelona, Spain.

That’s where the annual Mobile World Congress takes place, the event where all the big-name manufacturers announce their latest top handsets.

Highlights include a Sony Ericsson packing a 12 megapixel camera, the first touchscreen-only Google Android phone and an LG phone you can wear as a watch.

Take a look through MSN gallery to see these and the other top upcoming mobile phones.
http://tech.uk.msn.com/features/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=14251544

Source: MSN UK

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Funny babies in action. This will put a smile on your face. I am damn sure about this.

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This is very old video and I am sure you all have watched this before. Have a look again and I am sure this will put a laugh in your day. 

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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

UNNEWS, Teh Intarwbe — Following months of eager anticipation from men and women across the world, UnNews has today announced the launch of UnValentine’s Day. UnNews’ chief propaganda executive, Dave, made the following statement from his underground cave in Sweden. “This momentous day will become a permanent fixture in the lives of countless millions of people, who for years have suffered in silence every February 14th.”

“But this day is not just for single losers who sit alone in their grotty bedsit with a warm plate of microwave macaroni, it is also for those unfortunate souls who remain trapped in pointless and doomed relationships.”

Dave has released a list of the types of people who are most likely to want to join in the celebrations of UnValentine’s Day:

• Men whose wives have put on more than two stone since they were married.
• Women whose husbands have put on more than three stone since they were married.
• Gay people.
• Couples who have sex only three times a year (two birthdays and Valentine’s Day).
• People who plan to leave their partners right after Valentine’s Day .
• Married couples who stay together ‘for the kids’.

Those who wish to partake in UnValentine’s Day are being advised to try one or more of the following activities:

• Send someone you hate an UnValentine’s card, to show them just how much you hate them.
• Rather than chocolates and flowers, send a bag full of razor blades, or put small pieces of glass in some chocolate. Use your imagination.
• For men who fall into categories one or six above, refuse to go to that expensive restaurant on February 14th, and spend the money on a case of Stella instead. You can then enjoy a restful evening by the TV.
• For women who fall into category four, let him spend all his hard earned cash in that expensive restaurant but keep those legs firmly shut when it comes to bedtime. You may need a good excuse, so try to think of something more believable than the usual ‘headache’. Herpes should work in this instance.
• For women whose husbands choose to enjoy a restful evening by the TV with a can of Stella on Thursday, try having an affair, possibly with your local UnNews reporter.

As well as being embraced by the working classes across the globe, UnValentine’s Day has also attracted much attention from politicians and celebrities, with a number of well known faces intending to participate. These include President George W Bush, who will send an UnValentine’s card to every single American citizen, and Paul McCartney, who plans to punch Heather in the face.

Source: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/

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A GYM in London has replaced its dumbbells with human weights – including dwarves who shout encouragement to motivate exercise.

Gymbox at Bank – in the centre of the capital’s financial district – today introduced its bizarre fitness regime with human weights ranging from a 155kg man to a 30kg female.

The human dumbbells wear black leotards with their weights printed across their chests and sit on adapted machines to let the weightlifter visualise what they are lifting.

Gymbox owner Richard Hilton said it wasn’t a gimmick but rather about having a human weightlifting device as the “ultimate embodiment of visualisation theory”.

“Creating a mental image or intention of what you want to happen or feel is proven to improve physical and psychological performance,” Mr Hilton said.

“We’re optimistic our members will see better results with our new human weight machine.”

The gym boss said the troupe would also shout encouragement.

The human weights range from “Dainty Diva” Arti Shah, 32, who weighs just 30kg, up to “Super Human” Matt Barnard, 37, who weighs 155kg. Other men and women in between weigh 55, 65 and 75 kilograms.

The gym has also been offering classes called “‘chav fighting” and “WAG workouts” designed to make women more attractive to footballers.

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Click on the URL below to open the link in a new window. Read the instruction below before you start playing.

http://freeweb.siol.net/danej/riverIQGame.swf
click the blue circle to start.

Everybody has to cross the river. The following rules apply:

• Only 2 persons on the raft at a time
• The father cannot stay with any of the daughters, without their mother’s presence
• The mother cannot stay with any of the sons, without their father’s presence
• The thief (striped shirt) cannot stay with any family member, if the Policeman is not there
• Only the Father, the Mother and the Policeman know how to operate the raft

To move the people, click on them. To move the raft, click on the pole on the opposite side of the river.

Wish you good luck. Don’t forget to post your comments once you’re done.

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