In a study of three-year-old used vehicles, Buick and Jaguar share the honor as the most dependable brands in automotive industry.
BUICK
JAGUAR XF
A young boy asks his father…
Dad, how does politics actually work?
The father tells his son..
Do you understand my son?
The little boy thinks about it and tells his father that he’ll sleep on it and think about it some more…
During the night the little boy wakes up because his little brother has filled his diapers and is crying terrribly
Because the little boy isn’t sure what to do, he goes to his parents bedroom…
The next morning the father asks his son if he’d given more thought to the question of politics and if so, to explain in his own words how it works…
“Yes” answers the boy…
That’s how Politics works
Before Marriage: “Janu tum nahi to main nahi, aur main nahi to tum nahi”
After Marriage: “Beghairta aaj ya tu nahi ya main nahi”
Arab needed heart transplant, but had a rare type of blood that couldn’t be found locally. An Indian was located was who willingly donated his blood. After surgery, Arab sent the Indian a new Rolls Royce, Diamond & $1m. Again Arab required corrective surgery … called the Indian. After surgery Arab sent a Thanks card and Halwa sweets. Upset Indian phoned n asked why da difference this time? Arab: hey…now I have Indian blood in my veins!
A husband is at home watching a football match when his wife interrupts, Honey, could you fix the light in the hall way? It’s been flickering for weeks now.
He looked at her and says angrily, Fix the light now? Does it look like I have “POWERGEN”? I don’t think so!
Fine! Then wife asks, well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won’t close right.
To which he replied, Does it look like I have “FRIDGID AIRE” written on my forehead? I don’t think so!
Fine! She says. Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break.
I am not a carpenter and I don’t want to fix steps. He says, does it look like I have “TAYLOR WOODROW” on my forehead? I don’t think so! I’ve had enough of this; I am going to the pub!!!
So he goes to the pub and drinks for couple of hours… He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home. As he walks into house he notices that the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.
Honey, he asks, how would all this get fixed? She said, well when you left I sat outside and cried, just then a nice young man asked me what was wring and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.
Husband said, what kind of cake did you bake? She replied, hello… do you see “MR. KIPLING” written on my forehead. I don’t think so!
A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men….
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM .” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.”
