Imran Khan – imrank.org

Little Johnny watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, “Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane…..

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.” At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.

Johnny started his story, “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.

Mommy fainted!

The moral of the story is:
Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.

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A jobless man applied for the position of “office boy” at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. “You are engaged” he said, give me your email address, and I will send you the application to fill, as well as when you will start. The man replied “I don’t have a computer, neither an email”. I am sorry, said the HR manager, if you don’t have an email that means you do not exist and who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.

The man left with no hope at all. He didn’t know what to do, with only 10 US$ in his pocket. The man then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10 Kg tomato crate. He sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours. He succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with 60 US$. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubles or triples every day. Shortly later, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the U.S. He started to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chooses a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email address. The man replied: “I don’t have an email address”. The broker replied curiously, you don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Do you imagine what you could have been if you had an email? The man thought for a while, and replied: an office boy at Microsoft!

The moral of this story:

1. Internet is not the solution to your life.
2. If you don’t have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
3. If you received this message by email, you are closer to be an office boy, rather than a millionaire. Have a great day.

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Download vegetable fun power point file and enjoy.

Click here to download file.

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Remember all those long hours during our school experience that we spent on memorizing how to spell words correctly.  The next example shows us that we may have wasted a lot of time in class and at home.

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mind deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

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If you were asked to list the Seven Wonders of the World, what would your response be?  Would you answer as the first group of students did?

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present “Seven Wonders of the World.”

Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal 
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal 
5. Empire State Building  
6. St. Peter’s Basilica  
7. China’s Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, “Yes, a little.  I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many.”
 
The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.”

The girl hesitated, then read, “I think the ‘Seven Wonders of the World’ are:

1. to see
2. to hear
3. to touch
4. to taste
5. to feel
6. to laugh
7. and to love.

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!   A gentle reminder – that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.

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There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST – Emergency
The emergency number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialled even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND – Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. This saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other ‘remote’ for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

THIRD – Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your mobile battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370# and your mobile will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.

FOURTH – How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone’s serial number, key in the following digits on your phone! e.g.: * # 0 6 # 

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won’t get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can’t use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

This is the kind of information people don’t mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends.

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One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window – Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn – Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator – Boston

Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror – New York

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat – Italy

One hand on horn, one hand on holding gear, one ear listening to loud music, one ear on cell phone, one foot on accelerator, one foot on clutch, nothing on break, eyes on females in next car – Welcome to Pakistan!

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It’s FINALLY arrived!
Send a smile, make someone laugh, have some fun.

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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance – particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

———

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: “http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm” and try to download Tears 6.2, and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash! Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

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January
Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl of a kind. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome . Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

February
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive . Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble.Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when Restricted. Lovesaggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it.Dislikes unnecessary things. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the Inside not outside. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

March
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and Reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves Peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Loves to help others.

Hardly shows emotions. Hard to understand at times. Tends to bottle up feelings. Great lover! Attractive and affectionate. Strong mentality.

April
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and Sympathetic. Concernedand! Detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident.Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory.Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to Cheereveryone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and Others. Understanding. Fun to be around.

Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

May
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly Motivated. Sharp thoughts! Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings Beautiful physically and mentally . Firm Standpoint.Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex.Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to Dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.

Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good Imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike Being at home.

Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

June
You’ve got the best personality and are an absolute Pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and Be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have An a very attractive partner. A wicked Hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a Massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may One day become a famous actor/actress yourself – heck, you’ve got the Looks for it!!!

July
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to Be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.Takes pride in oneself. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.

Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and Forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally.

Strong sense of sympathy. Judges people through Observations. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

August
Outgoing personality. Takes risks. Feeds on attention. No self control. Kind Hearted. Self confident. Loud and boisterous.VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. has an “every thing’s peachy” attitude. Likes talking and singing. loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of “that someone”. longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. “Charming” or “beautiful” to everyone . Stubborn. Curious. Independent. strong willed. a fighter.

September
Active and dynamic. Decisive but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate. Insecure.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems.Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring.Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys tender affection.Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.

Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

October
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to be at the center of attention. Appreciates beauty. Inner and physical beauty are yours. Spendthrift. Doesn’t pretend but sometimes tells tales. Gets angry often but controlstemper. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends.> Easily hurt but recovers easily. Sometimes indecisive. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not always care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all .

November
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious . Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality.! Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes . Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

December
This straight-up means your the most good-looking person possible…better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced! by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has
that someone always on his/her mind.

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