Imran Khan – imrank.org

Muhammad Ali (Cassius Marcellus Clay) was born on 17th January 1942 in Louisville, Kentuck (USA). He accepted Islam in 1964. Ali won World Heavyweight Championship three times and was also the winner of an Olympic Light-Heavyweight Gold medal.  In 1999, he was crowned “Sportsman of the Century” by Sports Illustrated and the BBC.

Below are Muhammad Ali’s famous quotes:

1. Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are.
2. Don’t count the days, make the days count.
3. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
4. Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.
5. Hating people because of their color is wrong. And it doesn’t matter which color does the hating. It’s just plain wrong.
6. I believe in the religion of Islam. I believe in Allah and peace.
7. I hated every minute of training, but I said, ”Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”
8. I never thought of losing, but now that it’ s happened, the only thing is to do it right. That’s my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life.
9. I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world.
10. It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.
11. It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I just beat people up.
12. It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.
13. Love is a net that catches hearts like a fish.
14. My toughest fight was with my first wife.
15. My way of joking is to tell the truth. That’s the funniest joke in the world.
16. Silence is golden when you can’t think of a good answer.
17. Superman don’t need no seat belt.
18. The man who has no imagination has no wings.
19. The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.
20. There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.

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To all my friends who sent me good luck for 2008, it did fuck all. So for 2009 could u plz send either cash or vouchers. Thank You and Happy New Year.

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May God give you true happiness and great pleasures in 2009.

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Guy says to his wife: darling, what would you do if I said I’ve won the lottery?

Wife replies: I’d take half then leave u.

Guy says: excellent! I had three numbers and won a tenner. Here’s a fiver – now fuck off!

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You’d start out dead and get it out of the way. Then, wake up in an old peoples’ home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. At retirement – 18 years of age – you drive the sports car you can actually enjoy!

You eat what you want, you party… and you get ready to start school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then …

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day… And then, you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case

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If these are true, then they are very amusing indeed!

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

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ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

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ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.

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ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.

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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh….

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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

—————–

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a depositionnotice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on deadpeople?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

—————–

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

—————–

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing anautopsy on him!

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ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?

—————–

And this…. well what can I say…

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

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Last week was my birthday and i didn’t feel very well, waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a present for me as it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.”

I thought… well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came into breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, i was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, “Good Morning Boss, Happy Birthday!” It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your birthday, let’s go out to lunch, just You and Me.”

I said, “thanks Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. let’s go!” We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two Martinis each and i enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day… we don’t need to go back to the office, do we?” I responded, “I guess not. what do you have in mind?” she said, “let’s go to my apartment.”

After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I’ll be right back.” “OK.” I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake… followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And I just sat there on the couch… NAKED.

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Bug 1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the computer which can be named as “CON”. This is something pretty cool and unbelievable. At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn’t answer why this happened!

Try it now and let me know.

Bug 2
For those of you using Windows, do the following:

1) Open an empty notepad file
2) Type “Bush hid the facts” (without the quotes)
3) Save it as whatever you want.
4) Close it, and re-open it.

Is it just a really weird bug?

Bug 3
This is something pretty cool and neat and unbelievable. At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn’t answer why this happened!

It was discovered by a Brazilian. Try it out yourself…

Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
and then press ENTER

See the magic

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A man was riding his Harley beside a Sydney beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, ‘Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.

‘The biker pulled over and said, ‘Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can ride over anytime I want.’ The Lord said, ‘Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.

Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind. The biker thought hard about it for a long time. Finally, he said, ‘Lord, I wish that all men and I could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.’

The Lord replied, ‘You want two lanes or four on that bridge?’

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There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fences will never the same.

When you say things in anger they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. “A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us. Show your friends! How much you care.

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